There are so many types of posers that I'm going to break them down into 3 sub categories .
Peace Posers
These are the literally hundreds of people, who are obviously Bush-loving ignorant idiots, that for some reason now want to have peace signs on everything they own. They don't care about the war they just want to be trendy. It's ridiculous to suddenly start saying that you love peace and want to support it when a year ago you defended water boarding and invading Iran. Peace is not just a symbol you fucking r'tards. Peace is an ideal and if you support it then support it but don't be a poser. Please push that shiny new peace pin into your eyes and then drive blindly into traffic.
MMA Posers
Fucking guys who wear Tapout shirts. If your an mma fighter then cool (please don't beat me up) but if your not then never wear that shirt. You look like a douche and in fact are a douche. Seriously it's not that cool to look like a sweaty oily man hulk that is going to get his face punched in (or do some face punching) unless you are in fact that very thing (again please don't arm bar me or something). Another thing if you're fat and wear one of those shirts then you just look like a handler of sweaty oily man hulks. Even more gay! Please pick a fight with a real MMA fighter and remember to keep your hands LOW.
Hipster/Counter-culture Posers
These Fucking people. They have this I'm so fucking cool and ahead of trends that it's a pleasure for you to meet me. Get fucked. Listen Sven or whatever your stupid douche name is, you may listen to terrible indie music and wear retro shirts but you are not a rebel. Most of you idiot are far from counter culture. It doesn't count if you bought your retro shirt at the mall with money you got from working at The GAP. The only reason you wear a Andy Warhol shirt or talk about how much you hate MTV is because you think it will make people like you and you'll be accepted by the culture you "hate" so much. Also you can't be a counter culture hipster that works a Wal-Mart. Period. Or shops there. Period. Please wear you "cool" and "retro" outfit in to the wrong neighborhood and get shot.
Now I think I'll just list some other more specific customers that I hate
Kids
Super-old and senile people
Drunks
Most everyone buying body jewelry
People who think Weed The Game is ''cool''
People who ride Razor scooter and are not 5 years old
Pissy middle aged women
Pissy middle aged men
Tri-cities "Gangstas"
People who throw things in the store
People who want things off the wall then don't buy them
People who return things
People who ask why?
Guys with no shirts on
Jail bait
People with accents other then Irish, Scottish, English, and Australian
Girls who "think" they can pull off a tube top
Horny methheads
Methheads in general
Crackheads
Neo-Nazis
Way-too-gay guys (look I get it your gay that's fine. Take it easy, eh?)
People who I can't decide whether they are crack heads or mentally handicapped
The mentally handicapped (Without handlers. Harsh but it's scary you know?)
Idiots
Jackasses
Bitches
Fuckers
and
Most everyone else...
Randel: Yeah, I hate the customers at the video store too.
Dante: Which ones?
Randel: All of them...
-Clerks
No comments:
Post a Comment