Worst Customers Ever Pt. 3, The Finale/The Posers

Posers
There are so many types of posers that I'm going to break them down into 3 sub categories .

Peace Posers
These are the literally hundreds of people, who are obviously Bush-loving ignorant idiots, that for some reason now want to have peace signs on everything they own. They don't care about the war they just want to be trendy. It's ridiculous to suddenly start saying that you love peace and want to support it when a year ago you defended water boarding and invading Iran. Peace is not just a symbol you fucking r'tards. Peace is an ideal and if you support it then support it but don't be a poser. Please push that shiny new peace pin into your eyes and then drive blindly into traffic.

MMA Posers

Fucking guys who wear Tapout shirts. If your an mma fighter then cool (please don't beat me up) but if your not then never wear that shirt. You look like a douche and in fact are a douche. Seriously it's not that cool to look like a sweaty oily man hulk that is going to get his face punched in (or do some face punching) unless you are in fact that very thing (again please don't arm bar me or something). Another thing if you're fat and wear one of those shirts then you just look like a handler of sweaty oily man hulks. Even more gay! Please pick a fight with a real MMA fighter and remember to keep your hands LOW.

Hipster/Counter-culture Posers
These Fucking people. They have this I'm so fucking cool and ahead of trends that it's a pleasure for you to meet me. Get fucked. Listen Sven or whatever your stupid douche name is, you may listen to terrible indie music and wear retro shirts but you are not a rebel. Most of you idiot are far from counter culture. It doesn't count if you bought your retro shirt at the mall with money you got from working at The GAP. The only reason you wear a Andy Warhol shirt or talk about how much you hate MTV is because you think it will make people like you and you'll be accepted by the culture you "hate" so much. Also you can't be a counter culture hipster that works a Wal-Mart. Period. Or shops there. Period. Please wear you "cool" and "retro" outfit in to the wrong neighborhood and get shot.

Now I think I'll just list some other more specific customers that I hate

Kids
Super-old and senile people
Drunks
Most everyone buying body jewelry
People who think Weed The Game is ''cool''
People who ride Razor scooter and are not 5 years old
Pissy middle aged women
Pissy middle aged men
Tri-cities "Gangstas"
People who throw things in the store
People who want things off the wall then don't buy them
People who return things
People who ask why?
Guys with no shirts on
Jail bait
People with accents other then Irish, Scottish, English, and Australian
Girls who "think" they can pull off a tube top
Horny methheads
Methheads in general
Crackheads
Neo-Nazis
Way-too-gay guys (look I get it your gay that's fine. Take it easy, eh?)
People who I can't decide whether they are crack heads or mentally handicapped
The mentally handicapped (Without handlers. Harsh but it's scary you know?)
Idiots
Jackasses
Bitches
Fuckers
and
Most everyone else...

Randel: Yeah, I hate the customers at the video store too.
Dante: Which ones?
Randel: All of them...
-Clerks

Worst Customers Ever Pt. 2: Electric Boogaloo

More of the worst customers ever:

Juggalos
Fans of some of the worst fucking music in the world, The Insane Clown Posse (and their ilk). They never seem to have showered or care to ever shower. A particularly horrible fact considering they all wear black fucking clothes and walk everywhere (too poor for cars and too dumb for jobs). Worst BO ever. Seriously sometimes you can smell them before you ever see them. They Always have one idiot blaring some terrible rap/rock bullshit. The stupid hatchet man is on everything they wear. They are also obsessed with Faygo soda. Therein lies my joy. We used to carry Faygo soda until last year when the supplier went out of business. Now I take great pleasure in telling these idiots that we don't have it and you probably can't get it in the state anymore.
Please blare your terrible music until you bleed to death out of your ears.

Idiot Parents
Listen if you are irresponsible enough to have a little idiot version of yourself, you must now take care of it. I make minimum wage to come here and sell you stupid shit and fold shirt. Not to spend hours watching and cleaning up after your hellspawn. I really don't need a kid in my life. Especially one I didn't get to fuck a girl to make. Just because you don't care about your kid doesn't mean someone else does. Please crash your car on the way home and make sure the kid is in the front seat. (A bit harsh)


Stupid Teenage Girls (and sometimes boys)
"Oh my god, that's so cute!" "Blah Blah Blah Blah Fucking Blah" Shut the fuck up for a few seconds!! And no, we don't have "piercings". We have body jewelry and if you don't know the difference you should not be poking holes in your face. Also you can't actually get high from incense. Please find a stupid teenage boy and let him fuck you to death.

Stay Tuned.

The Finale still to come.

Worst Customers Ever Pt. 1

For those of you that don't know, I work at a gift shop. I'm a clerk. So everyday I have the supreme displeasure of dealing with the public. What follows are the worst types of customers I have to deal with on a regular basis.

Rednecks
Fucking rednecks. The shop I work at has a reputation as either a den of liberal sin or the cool place for stoners to hang out. So everyday I get to deal with at least one stoned redneck saying something racist about Obama or bitching about our anti republican stuff. Look dumb asses the store is named after a Beatles song so of-fucking-course we're all liberals. Not that you know any Beatles songs. After all they have no songs about drinking tequila before dinner or killing foreigners. Please shoot each other on the next huntin trip.

Old Burnt-Up Hippies
These people have smoked themselves double retarded. They can't even remember how to dress properly. Honestly it's easier to deal with mentally handicapped people than it is to deal with these idiots. At least you can make them happy. Please die of old age already.

Anyone who rides a "Longboard" skateboard
Seriously. It sounds like a stereotype but every person who comes in with one of those stupid things is a complete and utter douche. They either think they're surfers and therefore have that "I'm so fucking cool my shit smells like the ocean" attitude or they're so stoned that they can't even speak anything that resembles English. Mostly just ''Dude'' And "that's tight". Also they always smell like ass. Probably from riding around town without shirts all day, sweating. Please skate in front of a bus.

MORE TO COME.
BEING KICKED OFF COMPUTER.