Random-itude

There have been some things of my mind lately. Here are a few...

Video Games

I like them and don't give a fuck what a chin-less jackass, who has never played one, has to say about them not being art. Fuck off back to movie land if you want me to give a shit what you say Ebert! (because I DO care what a chin-less jackass has to say about movies)

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I like it too, for three main reasons: I love Meso-American culture. I find any depiction of it interesting and the legend of the crystal skulls even more so. I think Harrison Ford is the greatest actor in all nerd history. Han Solo? Deckard? Indy? Enough said. I went in to watching it knowing exactly what to expect. Yes it's has ridiculous moments and situations but so did all the others. Are aliens more far fetched than the power of god melting nazis? I think not.

Twitter

Is officially the best way to find out that the people who make the things you love are, in fact, douche bags or assholes. Ex: Kevin Smith, Olivia Munn, and Brian Lee O'malley.

Check Writing

At my job we have a policy that states if a purchase is over twenty dollars we can not take a check for it. Every time I see someone pull out a check book I tell them our policy but something else happens. I get pissed off, on the inside. Who has a damn check book nowadays? For fucks sake get a debit card! Even worst is when I see someone pull out the check book and tell them the bad news and then they pull out a debit card! WTF?! Just use that all the time fucker! Now if it were just little old ladies doing it I would be much more understanding but most of the time it's some uppity middle aged person who should know better. Seriously can we just eliminate checks already? At least in retail situations?

Magnets

How do they work?

Juggalos

Are they really that stupid?

(yes)

Gogol Bordello

These guys are awesome. Their new album Trans-Continental Hustle is a huge step forward for them. Musically they have really refined things and added even more international influence to their sound. I would describe this album as gypsy punk rock with splashes of Spanish guitar and even jazz and blues mixed about. Check it out! Only 7.99 on iTunes

"We gonna build a new globalizer

Without pantzerfaust or a shmiser

And may the sound of our contaminated beat

Sweep all the Nazi purists off their feet"

Fuck. Shit. Sigh. Hell yes.

I recently decided that I really needed to quit my job. I spent a few days getting up the courage to tell my bosses that I felt it time to move on. After doing so I realized the only thing that was stopping me from going now was myself.

Fuck.

There are only 2 things in the world I dislike more than my job right now, The Twilight movies/books and looking for another damn job. You see job hunting brings to light that which I try to keep under wraps deep in my "uncomfortable thought" part of the brain. You know down there with "What happens when I die?" and every memory involving going into a mens locker room.

The question that comes to me during job hunting is one that tends to screw with my head big time: What is it that I want to do with my life?

Shit.

That is a question that if i am actually asked by another person I might respond with "Write and direct movies" or "become a filmmaker" But when I think harder on it I ask myself why do I want to do these things. Is there some story need I to tell? Do i simply need to feel like I'm being heard? Does it have to do with the fact that during childhood I live in such secluded self induced isolation that I created a personality that can only see the world through the eyes of cinema?

*Sigh*

I really don't know. What's worst is these sort of thought tend to make me question if that is truly what I want to do and again I don't know. I do know that I have trouble communicating my feelings and thoughts through face to face interactions. I would much rather write a tweet text, blog, or short story. I would rather have a character tell my life story in a movie than tell someone myself.

Insecurity?

Hell yes.

The fact that I am at once confident in who I am but have no idea who I want to be is a great source of anxiety in life. I often wonder if this is a universal human problem. It ties in to a fear of what's to come. The future whether it's the prospect of a new job or prospect of trying to find your identity will alway be frightening.

But for now I need to focus and remember that perhaps I can get a new job without the untold emotional trauma of answering lifes most difficult questions.

Here's hoping.